Dear 21 year-old me,
Hi from the future and all that. Hey, look at me….I’m a mum now and let’s just say things aren’t exactly how you thought they would be.
There you are at 21 years old wondering about what kind of Mum you’d make, there is a family at a festival who make you decide right there and then that you are going to be one of those super cool Mums, who take their kids to festivals, let them wear batman costumes and tutus every day and only feed them home- made, organic loveliness while you dance round the kitchen with the radio on full and your husband smiles at you, lovingly content with his perfect family.
Right here’s the thing…so I’m afraid there’s no such thing as a perfect family, oh and the husband doesn’t exist…the thought of kids at festivals is now horror movie scary and Batman costumes are sweaty and uncomfortable.
So yeah, scratch the picture perfect family from your list. You are the proud single parent of two strange but amazing children. 2 years after that “festival family” moment you get pregnant to a guy who wants to travel the world instead of start a family and the rest is history.
But here’s some things you do get right…
1. Your son is clever and polite, he will play PlayStation with you and obsess about the world.
2. Your daughter is fierce. She is girly and strong-minded. She does wear Dr Martens and plays the guitar (badly)
3. Other Mums can be arseholes. At 21 some girls are bitchy prepare for them after they have been given all the knowledge of the universe by simply pushing a watermelon sized creature from their Vag.
4. You are a cool mum. Your children love you and enjoy your company. You do fun stuff together (even if you would rather not take them to a festival so you can lay face down in a pool of your own cider spew instead)
5. There is no such thing as perfect!
I wonder if anybody ever became the “perfect Mum”, if they fulfilled their ideas of family life or if we all just did things slightly differently. I can’t imagine those that I’ve seen snorting a line in a pub toilet on a weekend had aspired to be “That Mum”.
I also think about those ladies who for whatever reason despite desperately wanting to, haven’t been able to become a mum at all, I cannot begin to imagine how awful that ache and emptiness must feel. So although sometimes I feel like I’m far from perfect I know that I am grateful and I am lucky.
So ignore that cool festival family, step away from that unsuitable boy and get the drinks in before the next band starts, you’ve got a whole world of unconventional family life sneaking up on you very quickly!
Love from your older yet still as ridiculous self xx