Four Words

Today 4 words on Instagram brought back a whole world of memories and feelings for me…

Who’s the dad then?”

Nadia Essex is a public figure, writer and podcast host. Sharing her pregnancy journey with her 215k instagram followers sees her receiving many messages of love, support and advice. However, it seems one type of comment keeps reappearing, as written on Nadia’s latest Instagram post…

” Who’s the dad then?”

A question I myself heard plenty of times when I became single and pregnant 13 years ago. I was 23 years old and had a brief relationship with my babies father that simply didn’t last.

Now one thing you may or may not know about me is that I live in a small seaside town..and heres the thing about small seaside towns – some people like to know everything about your life, every detail. They take great pleasure in showing off what gossip they know and as the saying goes “what they don’t know they make up”

And boy did they make it up. The rumours I heard about myself during that time were insane (even one suggesting that I had been raped!) and I felt a real pressure to set the record straight but at the same time didn’t want to share all the details! It was no one else’s business.

And I know I can be guilty of gossip. I sometimes love a gossip with my girls, but since feeling in the spotlight and under the scrutiny of acquaintances and strangers, I will never 100% trust a story unless it comes from the source.

One feeling that really sticks from this time is the pressure of what people think. I still often feel it, I’ve never grown out of it since school. I will often worry about what people will say when I do certain things or make certain choices. It’s a trait I am working hard to overcome.

Now imagine feeling all this but with 215k people watching. It takes a strong person to be able to keep their cool and to not be affected mentally by the constant questioning. Whether you have 200k follows or 20, words can hurt and I admire Nadia’s calm and rationality when she reads and replies to such comments.

Sometimes I am an over-sharer, I love to talk about myself and my life and then other times I am the most private person in the world.

And whether you are me or a celebrity the common thread here is CHOICE, we choose what to share and what to keep private for a reason.

So here’s to not sharing everything…and congratulations on your pregnancy Nadia.There is no greater joy than becoming a parent 💙

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